In The Moment
I find it hard to "live in the moment". I am constantly surrounded by my own never ending thought process.
I think about where I'm going and what I'm doing and wonder if I will ever find what or where it is that I'm supposed to be.
I have been soul searching for endless years and I still come up empty handed and confused. The more I try to figure myself out the more tangled up and destroyed I become. I'm much like a heaping, tangled, pile of gold necklaces. I could be wonderful and beautiful but every time I try and unravel the deep knots all around me the task becomes too overwhelming and I'm left broken, damaged, or rendered useless.
I want more than anything to be able to appreciate the world around me for what it is and to find inner peace and happiness.
I'm strong but my strength often arises from a dark place where I have been hurt, misled, and abused.
I'm currently disconnected to the sadness I used to feel everyday but I secretly wonder who that person is and when she will return. Which emotions are the real me?
Someone once said, "Ignorance is bliss."
I believe in this whole heartedly. If I were a simpler, less observant, less thinking, being I may just be able to appreciate life for it's small wonders. I would be able to smile everyday and be satisfied with what I have.
It has always been my nature to question and wonder what more I could be or what more I could have.
My appetite for life is so grand and seemingly never satiated. The hunger destroys any real chance I have at being comfortable and happy. Is it possible to be so in love with life that you smoother it to death?
My mind seems to be in this constant battle of too much or not enough. When my sadness is blocked or gone I feel an empty hole inside me. I lose the emotional, creative, pieces of myself that I fear is my real self.
I think about where I'm going and what I'm doing and wonder if I will ever find what or where it is that I'm supposed to be.
I have been soul searching for endless years and I still come up empty handed and confused. The more I try to figure myself out the more tangled up and destroyed I become. I'm much like a heaping, tangled, pile of gold necklaces. I could be wonderful and beautiful but every time I try and unravel the deep knots all around me the task becomes too overwhelming and I'm left broken, damaged, or rendered useless.
I want more than anything to be able to appreciate the world around me for what it is and to find inner peace and happiness.
I'm strong but my strength often arises from a dark place where I have been hurt, misled, and abused.
I'm currently disconnected to the sadness I used to feel everyday but I secretly wonder who that person is and when she will return. Which emotions are the real me?
Someone once said, "Ignorance is bliss."
I believe in this whole heartedly. If I were a simpler, less observant, less thinking, being I may just be able to appreciate life for it's small wonders. I would be able to smile everyday and be satisfied with what I have.
It has always been my nature to question and wonder what more I could be or what more I could have.
My appetite for life is so grand and seemingly never satiated. The hunger destroys any real chance I have at being comfortable and happy. Is it possible to be so in love with life that you smoother it to death?
My mind seems to be in this constant battle of too much or not enough. When my sadness is blocked or gone I feel an empty hole inside me. I lose the emotional, creative, pieces of myself that I fear is my real self.
Comments
Post a Comment