The Daft, Demented, and Delirious

I'm hungry. I  don't eat. I'm confused, losing control. So tired. Sleep escapes me. My legs are running in place when I'm trying to lay still. Crawling insects are inside me,all over my body,  biting and eating my skin. I'm hurting. Every noise makes me startled and angry. My insides churn like bloody fish guts in a chum bucket. I'm rotten. Too numb to be sad. Too bored to smile. Wolves have the whitest teeth. They are sharp and meant to tear flesh. They don't smile either they snear instead. I'm more wolf than woman. I growl. I'm vicious and mean. There's a thick fog. I'm being swallowed whole. I'm too tired to run. I'm falling. There's ice and snow and gray skies everywhere I look. My footing is unsteady. I'm cold. Thick blankets, fuzzy socks, hot bath. Paint my toes, shave my legs. My most comfy PJ'S. I'm lonely.

Do you feel the ghost of me when I'm not around? Do you feel the emptiness when I can't  be found? Am I lost? Am I dead? I'm buried beneath my thoughts? Hoping my sanity can be saved, but I rarely get what I want. My chest is tight, my breath is caught, I'm lying still but also spinning so far away and wild. I am showing you my woman's face and mature smile,  though inside I'm crying like a child. I'm burning up quick like paper and soon I will float away. Ashes on a stormy wind, flutter on for forever and a day. Powerless to stop it. I can not slow it down. How can I breath in the ocean but seem to never drown? I blame myself for hurting. I make myself insane. A glutton for my own punishment. I must like the pain.