Would've, Could've, Should've, Grief & Loss.
I have always seen much beauty in the world there is so much happiness and love, I just can't find it within myself. I carry a very thick blanket of darkness. I'm tired of fighting its suffocation. I feel I've lost everything. I have hurt the ones I love the most. I've been cruel and selfish. It's very hard to live with that. The guilt and pain consume me most days. Thick like fog. I can't see my way out of it. Call me weak, because I am. I made this bed and I will lay in it. I will die in it. I have been praying for peace yet it doesn't come. I'm forsaken. Lost. I am eternally sorry to the depths of my soul for the sadness I have created and spread like a pandemic. I am a disease. I can not change the past nor can I see the future. I have failed at motherhood and being a good wife. I haven't been a good friend in far too long. I can't laugh like I used to. My failures are taking their toll and it's a heavy price to pay. I'm tired, ...