The Daft, Demented, and Delirious

How can I begin to say goodbye? To let go is to try and forget and to try and forget is impossible. Can I forget happiness, sadness, love and pain? You are everything and everything is gone. Not lost ; not given up; not broken but taken away. Breathing without lungs, standing without legs, flesh without blood, living with no heart.

laying still, thoughts spinning so fast like a thousand silver spider webs. darkness weaves like long hallways and endless tunnels that turn into dreams. The soul is haunted by many ghosts and they live side by side under the blackest sky full of nightmares. The heavy thunder of a heart and the soft belly of a soul together building a dreamscape. Tenderly the heart beats with long forgotten terror and unabashed love. Forever the blood pulses and spills warm, copious, darkness out into the night. The liquid pools overflow and become red and black rivers that rage into the salinity of the deep ocean. The sky stretches out to meet the ocean and at the horizon where they meet all seems black and blue.

You asked me if I was happy. I didn't know how to answer you. My answer was sometimes, laughing when I said it. Sometimes laughter disguises tears. How sad it is to admit that you lack the ability to do the very simplest of things. I think you were drinking. I too was drunk on your words. You miss me. I miss you too. Thoughts bobbing like a cork on a sea of red wine or scotch. Bottle-less and warm, flowing freely and openly. How nice to be missed, to be wanted around. Bringing happiness and laughter to everyone else but yourself. The ultimate torture. knowing you should appreciate every breath you take but holding your breath. Knowing you should embrace every memory, every color, every feeling, but instead you're letting go.