The Daft, Demented, and Delirious

People are never sorry until it's too late. It seems nobody wants to fix things until they are irreparable. You just can't fix hurt feelings and you can't take back hurtful words once they leave your lips. Emotions aren't mere dollar store tchotchke's nor are they  priceless antiques. They can never be apologized for or replaced for a monitory amount. Mental solitude is a priceless unicorn. I wonder is forgiveness even real? Or do we all just smile our fake smiles and laugh our fake laughs; while we continue to swallow and bury painful things until they eat us alive from the inside out? I realize how bitter and awful I sound but it's just my real time thought process at the moment. People can say the same things over and over again. They can tell you to live for the moment. They can tell you to appreciate all that you have. They can say, "someone out there has it worse than you." But a truly depressed individual lacks the ability to play devil...

It's an old hat that I wear all to well. It's the salt that I just can't stop licking. The sugar so sweet that it makes make me sick. It not me is it? But it is me.. ...........Miserable. Negative. Lonely. Angry.                  Me. I don't have the right but then again don't I? My pain is no greater nor is it any less than anyone else's. It's all so subjective and I can't even take shelter in my own thoughts. I DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY.  I'm heavy and empty all the same. Struggling to fill a vast, black, void. I am a black hole. Lost in space. Too much space? Not enough space? I can't figure me out. Going through this beautiful life with unappreciative blindness. I'm ignorant because I know too much. I feel too much. I think too much.  I      AM. TOO. MUCH. I can't even take joy,  no matter how brief; within my own selfish melancholy. I don't dese...