Stuck
Most of the time I feel like I should be doing more. I think I should be exercising more, reading more, studying more, learning more, contributing more. If not more I definitely feel I should be living better and enjoying more and taking better care of my soul. My mind gets so full and overwhelmed with all the thoughts of what I should be doing that I physically stall out and do nothing.
How am I so exhausted from doing nothing? My thoughts and wits are my greatest attribute and yet they are my worst enemies.
Is it totally normal to feel burnt out from all the things that you're not doing with your life? Sure I'm angry at myself and I feel that I'm actively wasting my own life but obviously I'm not bothered enough to make the necessary changes. Am I too afraid of change? Is it pure laziness? Why do I face so much apprehension within myself when it comes to the precious, fragile, brief existence we all live?
I want to be happy and enthusiastic. I want every second to count and I definitely don't want to die with regret. I want to lead a life that anyone would be proud of but I seem to lack some basic enzyme and the intestinal fortitude to proceed past just thinking about it.
I have been told all my life how funny and quick witted I am. I seem to bring happiness to the world around me but lack the ability to lighten my own heart.
I feel heavy, weighed down, burdened. I am both the mixer and the concrete. I spin endlessly in circles sticking to myself; creating a cohesive bond of failure that has glued me in place.
I am proud to have made it through my journey thus far but I am painfully aware that I am capable of so much more. I wonder will I ever be proud of myself? Will I ever do the things that I consider detrimental to my successful existence in this world?
I am both annoyed and grateful that I am the creative, emotional, empathetic,
being that I am but in the same breath I feel cursed knowing that I will forever feel too much.
I fear that I will always be stuck in my own way.
How am I so exhausted from doing nothing? My thoughts and wits are my greatest attribute and yet they are my worst enemies.
Is it totally normal to feel burnt out from all the things that you're not doing with your life? Sure I'm angry at myself and I feel that I'm actively wasting my own life but obviously I'm not bothered enough to make the necessary changes. Am I too afraid of change? Is it pure laziness? Why do I face so much apprehension within myself when it comes to the precious, fragile, brief existence we all live?
I want to be happy and enthusiastic. I want every second to count and I definitely don't want to die with regret. I want to lead a life that anyone would be proud of but I seem to lack some basic enzyme and the intestinal fortitude to proceed past just thinking about it.
I have been told all my life how funny and quick witted I am. I seem to bring happiness to the world around me but lack the ability to lighten my own heart.
I feel heavy, weighed down, burdened. I am both the mixer and the concrete. I spin endlessly in circles sticking to myself; creating a cohesive bond of failure that has glued me in place.
I am proud to have made it through my journey thus far but I am painfully aware that I am capable of so much more. I wonder will I ever be proud of myself? Will I ever do the things that I consider detrimental to my successful existence in this world?
I am both annoyed and grateful that I am the creative, emotional, empathetic,
being that I am but in the same breath I feel cursed knowing that I will forever feel too much.
I fear that I will always be stuck in my own way.
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