Soda Pop & The DMV
I haven't always loved myself. I wonder if I ever have at all. Sure there have been fleeting moments of appreciation and prowess on my part but in the end I am just a slug under my very own pile of salt. I get off on minimizing and cutting myself down. There is little room for self love when you're consumed by all the reasons that the world gives you to hate yourself.
Am I crazy? Or is that just the way life is? Chasing the proverbial dragon...
Searching for a feeling, something that doesn't exist.
Happiness isn't as organic as it should be. Sure it tastes good but "Happiness" is nothing more than Mountain Dew. A confectionary, sonic green, un-natural beverage that we ravenously drink down to get through the day. It perks us up but it's full of shit and inevitably at some point you crash and crash hard.
Life is like this giant, expensive magic show.
We love to watch the magician and we're entertained by his tricks but in the end we all know it's just an illusion. An illusion we paid too much for.
I'm tired. I've been on this hamster wheel far too long going around and around and around and I just want to fling myself off. I don't even care if I hit the wall because at least I'd feel something different.
I just want to genuinely be happy and proud without feeling guilty about it.
I want to scream, "I'm beautiful, smart, happy, healthy, and creative".
I want to say nice things about myself and believe in them.
We're told confidence is sexy but when exactly does "confidence" cross the line and turn into "cocky". Being self absorbed and conceited are both unattractive qualities so being normal is some invisible, half way point between cockiness and confidence.
Finding that delicate midline causes so much anxiety that it's clearly easier just to settle on bland. We all want to be the sparkly, pink, Barbie corvette but we end up being the ugly, boring, beige sedan that harkens as much excitement as the DMV.
Just like the DMV we are all screaming on the inside and patiently waiting on the outside. Smiling courteously and praying that we are the next person called up to the glorious window.
Am I crazy? Or is that just the way life is? Chasing the proverbial dragon...
Searching for a feeling, something that doesn't exist.
Happiness isn't as organic as it should be. Sure it tastes good but "Happiness" is nothing more than Mountain Dew. A confectionary, sonic green, un-natural beverage that we ravenously drink down to get through the day. It perks us up but it's full of shit and inevitably at some point you crash and crash hard.
Life is like this giant, expensive magic show.
We love to watch the magician and we're entertained by his tricks but in the end we all know it's just an illusion. An illusion we paid too much for.
I'm tired. I've been on this hamster wheel far too long going around and around and around and I just want to fling myself off. I don't even care if I hit the wall because at least I'd feel something different.
I just want to genuinely be happy and proud without feeling guilty about it.
I want to scream, "I'm beautiful, smart, happy, healthy, and creative".
I want to say nice things about myself and believe in them.
We're told confidence is sexy but when exactly does "confidence" cross the line and turn into "cocky". Being self absorbed and conceited are both unattractive qualities so being normal is some invisible, half way point between cockiness and confidence.
Finding that delicate midline causes so much anxiety that it's clearly easier just to settle on bland. We all want to be the sparkly, pink, Barbie corvette but we end up being the ugly, boring, beige sedan that harkens as much excitement as the DMV.
Just like the DMV we are all screaming on the inside and patiently waiting on the outside. Smiling courteously and praying that we are the next person called up to the glorious window.
Comments
Post a Comment