On Grief
Grief has left me torn between who I want to be, who I was, and who I am now. The simple answer is I just don't know.
There are so many shattered shards of myself that I have slowly been collecting and piecing back together over the past year.
Much like and old, fragile, china teacup that was accidently broken; I have been painstakingly glued back together again and I somewhat resemble the old tea cup I always was but if you look closely you can see tiny bits of me are still missing and will be forever. The minute pieces of myself that like delicate china turned to powder and were just swept away when I shattered. I have many, fine cracks that will never be filled again. Though I am still a tea cup It is careless and dangerous for me to hold liquid any longer. Am I destined to live out the rest of my days in a dusty china cabinet decommissioned and useless?
My paint is worn and chipped and here I sit looking normal and put together as long as you keep your distance.
I'm forever changed by the events of my life just as we all are. I like many struggle to find what's left now that the storm has passed. Grief and loss are so much like a natural disaster. Grief is a hurricane, tornado, and a tsunami, all rolled into one. Though it does pass with time it leaves behind much destruction and ugliness. Things do not look or feel the same. You may choose to rebuild or you may chose to move away. The only problem with grief is you can't runaway from it, bury it, Burn it, or leave it behind. No matter what you do or where you go somehow it's always there waiting.
I smile and laugh but not the same way I once did.
There is a blissful ignorance that we all have before we grow up and realize with sadness and disbelief that none of us makes it out alive. Though we have advanced in science and technology tremendously we still don't know what comes after this. Faith tells us the good, God fearing, folks go to Heaven but we know not anyone who has been back from the other side to tell us so.
We will no doubt all solve this mystery in our own sweet time. Until then we are all silent and fragile pieces of china just trying to hold it together through one more storm.
There are so many shattered shards of myself that I have slowly been collecting and piecing back together over the past year.
Much like and old, fragile, china teacup that was accidently broken; I have been painstakingly glued back together again and I somewhat resemble the old tea cup I always was but if you look closely you can see tiny bits of me are still missing and will be forever. The minute pieces of myself that like delicate china turned to powder and were just swept away when I shattered. I have many, fine cracks that will never be filled again. Though I am still a tea cup It is careless and dangerous for me to hold liquid any longer. Am I destined to live out the rest of my days in a dusty china cabinet decommissioned and useless?
My paint is worn and chipped and here I sit looking normal and put together as long as you keep your distance.
I'm forever changed by the events of my life just as we all are. I like many struggle to find what's left now that the storm has passed. Grief and loss are so much like a natural disaster. Grief is a hurricane, tornado, and a tsunami, all rolled into one. Though it does pass with time it leaves behind much destruction and ugliness. Things do not look or feel the same. You may choose to rebuild or you may chose to move away. The only problem with grief is you can't runaway from it, bury it, Burn it, or leave it behind. No matter what you do or where you go somehow it's always there waiting.
I smile and laugh but not the same way I once did.
There is a blissful ignorance that we all have before we grow up and realize with sadness and disbelief that none of us makes it out alive. Though we have advanced in science and technology tremendously we still don't know what comes after this. Faith tells us the good, God fearing, folks go to Heaven but we know not anyone who has been back from the other side to tell us so.
We will no doubt all solve this mystery in our own sweet time. Until then we are all silent and fragile pieces of china just trying to hold it together through one more storm.
So true, you can't run away from it, bury it, burn it or leave it behind. Nothing is the same as it was before. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading! <3
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